Cybersalt News
There is a new Funny Picture on the Cybersalt Site today. You'll find "Nothing Written On It" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/nothing-written-on-it
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
Today's CleanLaugh
Oil Spill
After a lady's car had leaked motor oil on her cement driveway, she bought a large bag of cat litter to soak it up.
It worked so well, that she went back to the convenience store to get another bag to finish the job.
Remembering her, the clerk remarked, "Lady, if that were my cat, I'd put him outside!"
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1009
An apple a day keeps the doctor away; a garlic a day keeps everyone away!
Today's Clean Pun
Lent
I gave up the word "loaned" for lent.
Today's Quote
Quote #1457
"At the end of the day, God's power is not primarily about victory over your particular situation. It's about the glory of His name on earth. Sometimes He does that by giving you victory over an obstacle; other times He does that by letting you suffer, to show a watching world that He is better than anything else on earth."
- J.D. Greear
Today's Illustration
Perfection
An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar guns, drove through a school zone within the legal speed limit when the flash of a camera went off, taking a picture of his license plate. The officer, thinking the radar was in error, drove by again; even more slowly. Another flash. He did it again for a third time, at an even slower speed. Same result.
"This guy must have mixed up the settings," the off-duty officer thought.
A few weeks later, when he received the violations in the mail, he discovered three traffic tickets: each for not wearing a seat belt!
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
A few years ago, I decided to visit my brother who was stationed in Germany. I assumed that most Germans would speak English. But I found that many people spoke only their native tongue - including the ticket inspector on the train.
I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on carpet, but only for like 20 seconds.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
It used to be that in order for a college student to receive credit for a particular course, a card that listed his or her courses had to be signed by the instructor/lecturer. It was, at the time, policy that students attend their courses. But depending on the size of the class, it was often possible to receive credit, even after not attending the class regularly.
Thanks to Kim Harding for day's real life laugh from her family.
I really wish the dollar store would start selling gas.
Bird calls for sale. Cheap.
Palm Sunday greetings everyone!
Home Mechanics Tools and their usage:
A woman went into a hardware store to purchase a bale of peat moss.
The next time there's an awkward silence, try whispering, "Did you forget your line?"
Wanna talk about Sodium? Na
When the English playwright Oscar Wilde arrived at his club late at night after witnessing the first presentation of a play that had been a complete failure, someone asked. "How did your play go tonight, Oscar?