Cybersalt News
There is a new entry in the FunBlog on the Cybersalt Site today. Have you ever heard of printed magnets? Check them out at:
www.cybersalt.org/funblog/printed-magnets
Also, due to an error between my keyboard and my seat, some of you could not view the Funny Picture "Miles Logged" the other day. I've fixed the problem - you can now view it at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-car-pictures/miles-logged
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
Today's CleanLaugh
Read The Label
It was in the early 1960's and spray deodorant, new to the market, was being advertised on television about six times a day. I was still living at home with my parents saving money for college. One afternoon after a hard day of construction and before dinner I took a nice hot shower.
After drying off I spotted a new spray can on the bathroom shelf.
The label read "SafeGuard" and I was so surprised that my mom had bought some of that new deodorant so I sprayed a liberal amount under each arm.
When I entered the kitchen, where mom was fixing dinner, I thanked her for getting some new spray deodorant but also complained that it was pretty sticky and I didn't know if I really liked it yet.
Her response still rings in my ears - "I didn't buy any spray deodorant, but I did buy some of that new bandage spray, SafeGuard!"
After shaving my armpits, attempting to lift my arms, and enduring hours of laughter by my entire family, I realized that RightGuard and SafeGuard were not the same thing.
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1013
We all think we're pretty smart until we try to turn on someone else's shower.
Today's Clean Pun
Easily Robbed
Take it from me: I'm easily robbed.
Today's Quote
Quote #1461
Listen and silent are spelled with the same letters...
Today's Illustration
Thankfulness
A Christian farmer spent the day in the city.
In a restaurant for his meal, he sat near a group of young men. After he bowed his head to give thanks for his food, one of the young men thought he would embarrass the old gentleman.
"Hey, farmer, does everyone do that out where you live?"
The old man calmly replied, "No, son, the pigs don't!"
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
Nine year old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school.
The cool part about naming your kid is you don't have to add 6 numbers to make sure the name is available.
Verbs: always tense and moody.
While visiting the Atlanta area, I walked through a lovely park with a wide path where people could jog, run their dogs or ride trail bikes. As I descended a hill, I saw a woman coming toward me, pushing a stroller with two toddlers in it.
"One of God's main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones that die so there will be enough people to take care of things on earth. He doesn't make grown-ups, just babies. I think because they are smaller and easier to make. That way, He doesn't have to take up His valuable time teaching them to talk and walk. He can just leave that to mothers and fathers.
I personally stay away from health foods. At my age, I need all the preservatives I can get.
Pediatricians tend to have very little patients.
A man had a habit of grumbling at the food his wife placed before him at family meals. Then he would ask the blessing. One day after his usual combination complaint-prayer, his little girl asked, "Daddy, does God hear us when we pray?"
Our seven-year-old daughter was thrilled when we took her to Disney World for the first time, and she headed straight for Space Mountain.
It's taken me hours, but I finally put together this IKEA joke.
Self Denial: I'll be giving up navel-gazing for Lint.
What does it mean to look to Christ? William Fenner (1600–1640) explains: