Cybersalt News
You know that awful feeling when something unknown touches your foot in the ocean? Knowing what it is isn't always a comfort either? Would you surf at the location of today's funny picture? You'll find "Seaweed Wave" at:
www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/seaweed-wave
Enjoy the rest of today's mailing!
~ Pastor Tim
Today's CleanLaugh
Rescue Mom
My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet.
So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage.
Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush.
He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago."
Today's One-liner
One-liner #1092
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments!
Today's Clean Pun
Salad Pardner
A question: If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing??
Today's Quote
Quote #1540
"Faith does not just find God in the past, but finds God in the future. Can you thank God, this minute, not just for what has been, but for what is coming?"
- Leonard Sweet
Today's Illustration
Daddy's Empty Chair
A man's daughter had asked the local minister to come and pray with her father. When the minister arrived, he found the man lying in bed with his head propped up on two pillows.
An empty chair sat beside his bed.
The minister assumed that the old fellow had been informed of his visit. "I guess you were expecting me," he said.
'No, who are you?" said the father.
The minister told him his name and then remarked, "I saw the empty chair and I figured you knew I was going to show up."
"Oh yes, the chair," said the bedridden man. "Would you mind closing the door?"
Puzzled, the minister shut the door.
"I have never told anyone this, not even my daughter," said the man.
"All of my life I have never known how to pray. At church I used to hear the pastor talk about prayer, but it went right over my head. I abandoned any attempt at prayer," the old man continued, "until one day four years ago, my best friend said to me, "Johnny, prayer is just a simple matter of having a conversation with Jesus. Here is what I suggest. Sit down in a chair; place an empty chair in front of you, and in faith see Jesus on the chair. It's not spooky because he promised, 'I will be with you always.' Then just speak to him in the same way you're doing with me right now."
"So, I tried it and I've liked it so much that I do it a couple of hours every day. I'm careful though. If my daughter saw me talking to an empty chair, she'd either have a nervous breakdown or send me off to the funny farm."
The minister was deeply moved by the story and encouraged the old man to continue on the journey. Then he prayed with him, anointed him with oil, and returned to the church.
Two nights later the daughter called to tell the minister that her daddy had died that afternoon.
"Did he die in peace?" he asked.
"Yes, when I left the house about two o'clock, he called me over to his bedside, told me he loved me and kissed me on the cheek. When I got back from the store an hour later, I found him dead. But there was something strange about his death. Apparently, just before Daddy died, he leaned over and rested his head on the chair beside the bed. What do you make of that?"
The minister wiped a tear from his eye and said, "I wish we could all go like that."
Featured Illustrations are items well suited for illustrating or inspiring a point in a sermon, speech, or devotional. Funny, moving, or perhaps even graphic, the point of them is the point you make with them.
The Cybersalt Digest is a ministry of Pastor Tim and Cybersalt.org - a member of the Cybersalt family of sites.
A lady on her first visit to Yellowstone National Park said to her guide, "Look at all those big rocks. Wherever did they come from?"
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
The swordfish has few predators to worry about in the wild ...
After booking my 80-year-old grandmother on a flight from Florida to Nevada, I called the airline to go over her special needs. The representative listened patiently as I requested a wheelchair and an attendant for my mother because of her arthritis and impaired vision to the point of near blindness.
An anthropologist was assigned to Borneo, where he found a guide with a canoe to take him up the river to the remote site he where he would make his collections. At noon on the second day of travel up the river they began to hear drums.
Two wrongs are only the beginning.
I didn't mean to gain weight.
A big hulking hooligan walks into a bar, slams his fist down, and yells "Give me a beer, or...!"
A boy was assigned a paper on childbirth and asked his parents, "How was I born?"
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it just becomes a soap opera!
A little boy walked to and from school daily. Though the weather that morning was questionable and clouds were forming, he made his daily trek to the elementary school.
A man comes up to the owner of a lumberjack business and says, "I need a job and I think I'm pretty good."
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.
Thank-you student loans for getting me through university. 
In a small Midwestern conservative town, a business owner began to construct a building for a new bar. The local Baptist church started a campaign to block the bar from opening with petitions and prayers.