Monthly Archive

Helping his wife wash the dishes, a minister protested, This isn't a man s job.Oh yes, it is, his wife retorted, quoting 2 Kings 21:13:I will wipe Jerusalem as a man wipeth a dish, wiping it, and ... read more..

Several members who have been in the hospital are not on their way to recovery, for which we are thankful.The Jack and Kill Daycare is looking for someone to help part time on Saturdays.We'll kick off... read more..

Here are some more strange warnings on items.On a packet of juggling balls:"This product contains small granules under 3 millimeters.  Not suitable for children under the age of 14 years in ... read more..

I was trying to mow the lawn before my husband got home from work, but our electric lawn mower refused to cooperate. It would run fine for a few seconds, then cut off, run again, cut off. Finally, I g... read more..

Knowing what God doesn't have planned for us is key to understanding what He does have for us.  The limits we have in life, therefore, are gifts from God that we can receive with true thanksg... read more..

You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.You can endure 110 degrees without fainting.You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.You can make instant sun tea.You learn that a seat belt make... read more..

Q: Why can't goobers dial 911?A: They can't find the "11" on the phone!... read more..

Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over his dining room, so he called a repairman to take a look at it. "When did you first notice the leak?" the repairman inquired.Mr. Gable scowled. "Last night, when ... read more..

On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent-education seminars I conduct as an educational psychologist.The elderly woman sitting next to me explained that she was returning... read more..

Thanks to my good, Texan friend Walter Smith for this one.Chuck was sitting in an airplane when another fellow took a seat Beside him. The new guy was an absolute wreck...pale, hands shaking, Biting h... read more..

1.  The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.2.  You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant u read more..

Unfortunately, we humans do not come equipped with delete buttons for our mouths.My friend and his rock band were playing a concert at the local psychiatric hospital where he worked as a musical thera... read more..

According to my conclusion, following years of reflection, only three kinds of people populate our world: those on a diet, those coming off a diet and those soon to begin a diet. Everyone falls into read more..

The two young boys were discussing their ailments together in the children's ward."Are you medical or surgical?" asked the first, who had been in the ward for a week."I don't kn... read more..

A church secretary takes a call. The caller says ,"Is the head hog at the trough there?"The secretary says, "Please Sir, do not refer to our pastor as the head hog at the trough. That is very insultin... read more..

Had jury duty Mon. As luck would have it, I sat next to young woman who attends the xxxChurch. I asked her to tell me about her church and the other satelite churches. She said they had "the most awes... read more..

After trying for hours to get my daughters to clean their room, I burst in and yelled, "GET THIS ROOM CLEAN NOW, BEFORE I HAVE A COW!!!"My youngest daughter (3 years old) looked at me with a... read more..

As the three ladies picked up a menu, each put on a pair of glasses."I really only need mine for close reading," explained the first.Remarked the second, "I only use mine when the light is bad."The th... read more..

When I went to get my driver's license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was packed.  The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of me finally got his license.He inspe... read more..

Even Jesus, who could do anything, did not do everything.  He is our example of how to receive God's gift of limits in life.(A few tiny parts of this recording are a bit garbled due to a reco... read more..

Jack Summers is a constructor at a building site.  One day on the site there is a massive accident and Jack has both of his ears cut off. Jack goes through a time of deep depression, but thanks to th... read more..

Steve took his new wife camping for the first time. At every opportunity, he passed along outdoor-survival lore.One day they got lost hiking in the deep woods. Steve tried the usual tactics to determi... read more..

Two buddies were out for a Saturday stroll.  One had a Doberman and the other had a Chihuahua.  As they sauntered down the street, the guy with the Doberman said to his friend, "Let'... read more..

My son visited a satellite church in Plano. He said he didn't know what a satellite church was but presumed that it was a smaller church planted by the larger church in Grapevine. He said he fully... read more..

[1] a game that consists of a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.[2] a game of opposites - the world's slowest people are ahead of you, and the fastest are behind.[3] a... read more..

Two elderly gentlemen were visiting. "I guess you're never too old," the first one boasted. "Why just yesterday a pretty college girl said she'd be interested in dating me but to be perfectly honest, ... read more..

You're born. You suffer. You dieFortunately, there's a loophole.~Billy Graham~... read more..

A couple was relating their vacation experiences to a friend.  "It sounds as if you had a great time in Texas," the friend observed.  "But didn't you tell me you were plan... read more..

A lady was taking her time browsing through everything at a yard sale and said to the homeowner, "My husband is going to be very angry when he finds out I stopped at a yard sale.""I'm sure he'll under... read more..

She was such a goober. . ... she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.. she tripped over a cordless phone.. she told someone to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DONT WALK".. they ... read more..