Monthly Archive

2006

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 992 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Mowing the Lawn
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5838
<1min

Mowing the Lawn

I was trying to mow the lawn before my husband got home from work, but our electric lawn mower refused to cooperate. It would run fine for a few seconds, then cut off, run again, cut off. Finally, I g... read more..
Emotional Health - Receive the Gift of Limits - Part 2
Sermons
Pastor Tim
3591
<1min

Emotional Health - Receive the Gift of Limits - Part 2

Knowing what God doesn't have planned for us is key to understanding what He does have for us.  The limits we have in life, therefore, are gifts from God that we can receive with true thanksg... read more..
You Know You Are From Arizona When
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4978
<1min

You Know You Are From Arizona When

You no longer associate bridges or rivers with water.You can endure 110 degrees without fainting.You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.You can make instant sun tea.You learn that a seat belt make... read more..
Goober 911
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5325
<1min

Goober 911

Q: Why can't goobers dial 911?A: They can't find the "11" on the phone!... read more..
Leaky Roof
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
10880
<1min

Leaky Roof

Mr. Gable had a leak in the roof over his dining room, so he called a repairman to take a look at it. "When did you first notice the leak?" the repairman inquired.Mr. Gable scowled. "Last night, when ... read more..
Who's The Expert?
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4280
<1min

Who's The Expert?

On a flight to Florida, I was preparing my notes for one of the parent-education seminars I conduct as an educational psychologist.The elderly woman sitting next to me explained that she was returning... read more..
Not as Bad as They Say
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3431
<1min

Not as Bad as They Say

Thanks to my good, Texan friend Walter Smith for this one.Chuck was sitting in an airplane when another fellow took a seat Beside him. The new guy was an absolute wreck...pale, hands shaking, Biting h... read more..
Things It Takes Most Of Us 50 Years To Learn
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4529
<1min

Things It Takes Most Of Us 50 Years To Learn

1.  The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it.2.  You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant u read more..
Delete Button
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3877
<1min

Delete Button

Unfortunately, we humans do not come equipped with delete buttons for our mouths.My friend and his rock band were playing a concert at the local psychiatric hospital where he worked as a musical thera... read more..
Introducing My New "Bait And Switch" Diet Plan
God's Penman
Rev. James L. Snyder
5171
5 min read

Introducing My New "Bait And Switch" Diet Plan

According to my conclusion, following years of reflection, only three kinds of people populate our world: those on a diet, those coming off a diet and those soon to begin a diet. Everyone falls into read more..
Boys In Hospital
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4976
<1min

Boys In Hospital

The two young boys were discussing their ailments together in the children's ward."Are you medical or surgical?" asked the first, who had been in the ward for a week."I don't kn... read more..
Pig Call
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3406
<1min

Pig Call

A church secretary takes a call. The caller says ,"Is the head hog at the trough there?"The secretary says, "Please Sir, do not refer to our pastor as the head hog at the trough. That is very insultin... read more..
Jury Duty Visiting
Misc
2900
<1min

Jury Duty Visiting

Had jury duty Mon. As luck would have it, I sat next to young woman who attends the xxxChurch. I asked her to tell me about her church and the other satelite churches. She said they had "the most awes... read more..
It Might Be Cleaner
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4530
<1min

It Might Be Cleaner

After trying for hours to get my daughters to clean their room, I burst in and yelled, "GET THIS ROOM CLEAN NOW, BEFORE I HAVE A COW!!!"My youngest daughter (3 years old) looked at me with a... read more..
Glass Honesty
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3943
<1min

Glass Honesty

As the three ladies picked up a menu, each put on a pair of glasses."I really only need mine for close reading," explained the first.Remarked the second, "I only use mine when the light is bad."The th... read more..
Smile For the DMV
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
12581
<1min

Smile For the DMV

When I went to get my driver's license renewed, our local motor-vehicle bureau was packed.  The line inched along for almost an hour until the man ahead of me finally got his license.He inspe... read more..
Emotional Health - Receive the Gift of Limits - Part 1
Sermons
Pastor Tim
3569
<1min

Emotional Health - Receive the Gift of Limits - Part 1

Even Jesus, who could do anything, did not do everything.  He is our example of how to receive God's gift of limits in life.(A few tiny parts of this recording are a bit garbled due to a reco... read more..
No Ears, One Question
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4918
2 min read

No Ears, One Question

Jack Summers is a constructor at a building site.  One day on the site there is a massive accident and Jack has both of his ears cut off. Jack goes through a time of deep depression, but thanks to th... read more..
Lost
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4430
<1min

Lost

Steve took his new wife camping for the first time. At every opportunity, he passed along outdoor-survival lore.One day they got lost hiking in the deep woods. Steve tried the usual tactics to determi... read more..
No Pets Allowed
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4919
<1min

No Pets Allowed

Two buddies were out for a Saturday stroll.  One had a Doberman and the other had a Chihuahua.  As they sauntered down the street, the guy with the Doberman said to his friend, "Let'... read more..
Pastor on the Big Screen
Misc
3051
2 min read

Pastor on the Big Screen

My son visited a satellite church in Plano. He said he didn't know what a satellite church was but presumed that it was a smaller church planted by the larger church in Grapevine. He said he fully... read more..
GOLF, n.
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4831
<1min

GOLF, n.

[1] a game that consists of a lot of walking, broken up by disappointment and bad arithmetic.[2] a game of opposites - the world's slowest people are ahead of you, and the fastest are behind.[3] a... read more..
Favorite quote
Misc
2742
<1min

Favorite quote

You're born. You suffer. You dieFortunately, there's a loophole.~Billy Graham~... read more..
Texas Vacation
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5012
<1min

Texas Vacation

A couple was relating their vacation experiences to a friend.  "It sounds as if you had a great time in Texas," the friend observed.  "But didn't you tell me you were plan... read more..
Yard Sale Anger
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3235
<1min

Yard Sale Anger

A lady was taking her time browsing through everything at a yard sale and said to the homeowner, "My husband is going to be very angry when he finds out I stopped at a yard sale.""I'm sure he'll under... read more..
She Was Such A Goober
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4693
<1min

She Was Such A Goober

She was such a goober. . ... she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.. she tripped over a cordless phone.. she told someone to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DONT WALK".. they ... read more..
Kidnapped
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3792
<1min

Kidnapped

Most Friday nights at the Naval Station in Bermuda, we would assemble at the officers club after work. One Friday, Rick, a newly married ensign, insisted he had to leave at 6 p.m. We all tried to talk... read more..
a lamb's blog
Misc
2865
<1min

a lamb's blog

Lambs. Innocent. Vulnerable. And said to be babies of the dumbest of all God's creatures: sheep.  Perhaps we really mean next to men (and women). The lamb might do well without the wolf, and ... read more..
Putting the Cat Out
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5570
<1min

Putting the Cat Out

A couple is going out for an evening on the town.When they are almost ready to go, the wife tells her husband not to forget to put out the cat.  However, after a Taxi arrives and as they go out t... read more..
Rapid Promotion
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4620
<1min

Rapid Promotion

The boss called one of his employees into the office."Rob," he said, "you've been with the company for a year.  You started off in the post room, one week later you were promot... read more..
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