Monthly Archive

I'm a romanticist at heart and learned this one, as you did, years ago...a traditional bride's outfit includes "something old, something new, something borrowed and something _______--BLUE!" You remem... read more..

* They have a range of about 20 miles before they overheat, break down or run out of gas.* Only the owner knows how to operate the door to get in or out.* It is difficult to drive fast with all the fe read more..

10. Apologize to neighbors about the tripwire incident...offer to replace dog. 9. Take up pork & beans skeet shooting. 8. Gather recipes for Spam, dehydrated potatoes, and crow. 7. Cancel subsc read more..

Members of the Methodist women's church circle in one Wisconsin town some years ago were disturbed because a widowed church member and her three small daughters were staying away from services.  ... read more..

A pastor was leaving his area and was saying farewell to his congregation at the Church doors for the last time. He shook the hand of an elderly lady as she walked out. She said "Your successor won't ... read more..

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial--a grandmotherly, elderly woman.  He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Wh... read more..

A mother mouse and a baby mouse are walking along, when all of a sudden, a cat attacks them. The mother mouse yells, "BARK!" and the cat runs away."See?" says the mother mouse to her baby. "Now do you... read more..

A young man wanted to get his beautiful goober wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary.  So he decides to buy her a cell phone.  She is all excited, she loves her phone. ... read more..

A young fellow just starting into cattle ranching called the old cowboy one rainy evening and said he had a cow with problems having a calf.The old cowboy got his rope, and drove thru the rain to his ... read more..

Was there water on Mars, and why is it so important to know? The first of these questions can be answered with an almost certain "Yes". There is a lot of evidence which points to the conclusion that M... read more..

Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere.... read more..

While driving through Buffalo after a heavy snow storm, a motorist noted a cop, apparently waist deep in snow, directing traffic. Feeling sorry for him, the motorist called out "I'm sorry you have to ... read more..

What do you call an eternity?  Four Goobers in four cars at a four way stop. Why do Goobers have TGIF written on their shoes?  Toes Go In First. Three Goobers were driving to Disneyland.&n... read more..

Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones.  One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?" The guard replies, "The... read more..

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way.The pilot and co-pilot finally appear in the rear of th... read more..

Three convicts escaped from prison. They made it to the downtown of a nearby city but were confronted by a policeman. "Hey, aren't you those three escaped convicts?", asked the policeman. Thinking ... read more..

A teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their vacation. One child wrote the following: "We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live here in a big brick ho... read more..

Joe had asked Bob to help him out with the deck after work, so Bob just went straight over to Joe's place.  When they got to the door, Joe went straight to his wife, gave her a hug and told her h... read more..

"Hail, O favored one, the Lord is with you!" But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and considered in her mind what sort of greeting this might be. And the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, M read more..

Your bedroom isn't cluttered, it's just "passage restrictive." Kids don't get grounded anymore. They merely hit "social speed bumps." You're not late, you just have a "rescheduled arrival time." Yo... read more..

The small girl had recently received a new watch and some perfume, which she was very excited about. Their family asked the pastor over for dinner. The girl wanted so badly to tell the pastor about he... read more..

"Hello is this Rabbi Schwartz?" "It is" "This is the IRS.  Can you help us?" "I can." "Do you know a Sam Cohen?" "I do." "Is he a member of your congregation?" "He is." "Did he donate $10 read more..

The Christmas story is not over. There is lots more to come that God has promised. {audio}podcast/sm20051218.mp3{/audio}... read more..

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed.  There is nothing to worry about.  Our flight will t... read more..

- Impulse engines stall when used in reverse.- Digital speedometer on helm console stuck at "88".- Shields fail to work on alternate Fridays.- Rust problem in engineering causes support failure: one c read more..

...they don't sell tickets, they sell chances. ...all the insurance machines in the terminal are sold out. ...before the flight, the passengers get together and elect a pilot. ...if you kiss the wi read more..

Ever go Christmas caroling--on a BUS? I remember bundling up, climbing aboard a church bus and trailing around the town--stopping at homes, gathering on front porches, singing our hearts out to happy ... read more..

While serving as associate pastor in a church in the California gold country, I had an elderly gentlemen attend some of our Bible studies.When he missed one week, I called to see if he was alright. He... read more..

Old telephone books make ideal personal address books.  Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know. Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by hol... read more..

My mother was away all weekend at a business conference.During a break, she decided to call home collect. My six-year-old brother picked up the phone and heard a stranger's voice say, "We have a Betty... read more..